When All Else Fails
by supercellchaser
Summary: The Colt is useless against Lucifer. With friends and family dying left and right, Sam wonders who will be next. Limp!Sam...Sam/Castiel nothing naughty, just cuteness. H/C.


Disclaimer: What do I own? NOTHING!

So, I've been debating with myself. Lol I have been wondering if my stories are a bit too similar to each other because lately all I've been writing is Sam and Castiel fics and they sorta have kinda the same stuff, like angst and then comfort…Well if that is so, here's another one similar with the same Sastiel cuteness!

This is set after Sam and Dean fail in killing Lucifer with the Colt.

REVIEEEEEWWWWWSSSS PLEEEEEAAAAASSSSEEEEE!

* * *

Dean was worried. Worried about the one person that usually worried him. Sam.

Sam barely slept anymore. Not since Jo and Ellen died, not since they found out the Colt was useless against Lucifer. Dean awoke every night to Sam tossing and turning in bed, covered in sweat, most of the time, tears on his cheeks. He didn't eat unless Dean forced him, which was nearly everyday. It didn't do any good most times because as much as Sam tried to disguise it, Dean heard him throwing up almost every night. He also didn't speak unless spoken to, replying is short, one word answers.

Not that Dean could blame him. Lucifer scared the ever living out of him too. Some nights Dean was plagued by his own nightmares featuring the Devil. But Sam had it worse, Dean's nightmares couldn't even compare to Sam's. Someone who finds out that they are destined to be the Devil's meat suit, and then cannot find a way to destroy said Devil can't be particularly happy or have particularly happy dreams. He couldn't blame Sam, but he couldn't help but worry about him.

He knew Sam still blamed himself for everything that had happened over the last few months. Lucifer escaping, the battle between Heaven and Hell, Jo and Ellen dying…Sam blamed himself too much.

Dean knew that Sam screwed up, he couldn't deny it, but Sam didn't know what he was doing and didn't know that his actions would result in what they did. He tried to tell Sam this but Sam wouldn't listen.

Sitting in a booth at a small mom and pop diner, Dean dug into his burger, grease and ketchup dripping onto the plate. Chewing the huge bite he had just taken he spared a glance at his little brother across the table.

Sam sat hunched over, his head rested on his hand but it was slowly descending down towards the untouched salad on the table in front of him. Dean sighed and reached out, gently shaking Sam's shoulder, awaking him before he received a face full of Caesar.

Sam snorted and his head shot up his bloodshot eyes looking around as if trying to remember where he was.

"It's alright, Sammy." Dean said gently. "You were just about to face plant in your rabbit food."

Sam nodded, still trying to shake the sleep.

"Here," Dean said, handing Sam a fork. "You need to eat."

Sam took the fork from Dean, about to say he wasn't hungry, but he knew better than that. Dean would resort to the airplane to get him to eat if he had to. Sighing, Sam stabbed a piece of lettuce and slowly chewed.

Foregoing his burger, Dean took a good look at his baby brother. Sam looked thinner and more pale. Hidden beneath long hair, his eyes were bloodshot and had dark circles underneath them. It nearly broke Dean's heart to see his brother like this and knowing that he had no idea what to do.

Snapping out of his thoughts he saw Sam drop his fork. He was about to reprimand him on not eating but Sam's face had taken on a nasty shade of green and after a quickly mumbled, "Gotta use the bathroom." Sam jumped up and hurried to the back of the diner where the restrooms were.

Sighing, Dean called the waitress over, asking for a to go box. Dumping the barely touched salad into the box, Dean left the money for the meal on the table and headed back to the restroom. Placing an ear against the door Dean could hear the unmistakable sound of retching and then the flushing of a toilet.

Knocking lightly on the door he said, "You okay in there Sammy?"

A barely intelligible "Uh huh." followed by the sound of a running sink caught Dean's ears.

When Sam exited the bathroom, his face flushed and sweaty, Dean put a steadying hand on his shoulder and led him out to the Impala. Placing the bag of food on the floor next to Sam's feet Dean said, "You _will _eat that later today. All of it, Sammy."

Sam just nodded, staring blankly out the window.

Dean sighed at Sam's lack of answer and kept his mind on the long road ahead.

* * *

Dean looked over at his fitfully sleeping brother. Sam had fallen into a light doze about an hour and a half into the trip and Dean wanted to keep it that way. He turned down his music and avoided all the bumps he could. He braked slow and didn't speed up too fast. Sam rarely slept anymore and this precious time when he was able to drift off, Dean fought to keep him asleep as long as he could.

He avoided all motions that could awake Sam. At least until a figure appeared in his rear view mirror, sitting calmly in the back seat.

"What the hell?" Dean yelled, his shock causing him to swerve the car hard. Sam's head, previously resting against the window, bounced violently off of the glass.

Getting control of the car Dean took a deep breath and glared angrily through the rear view mirror at the angel in the back seat. "Cas! Do you have to do that!"

"My apologies." Castiel said quietly, his eyes fixed on Sam, an odd look on his face.

"You okay, Sammy? Dean asked, keeping one hand on the wheel and laying another on Sam's shoulder. Sam had been jarred awake and now rubbed the side of his head, a disoriented look on his face.

"Ow…" Sam mumbled, frowning and still rubbing absently at his head. "What was that?"

"Castiel, in all his Holy trench coat-ness decided to pop up and scare the ever living out of me. Sorry, buddy. I didn't mean to swerve." Sam turned around to see Castiel sitting there. "Oh." Was his only reply. He looked exhausted, like he didn't know completely what was going on.

Castiel continued to stare at Sam, the same confused look on his face. Sam turned back around and reclined against the seat. "What?" Sam asked, irritated. He was tired and the wake up call he had just received had not helped his mood.

"You look very ill." Castiel replied, his hand coming to rest on Sam's cheek. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." Sam snapped, setting down and closing his eyes. He was moody a lot lately. He regretted the way he treated Castiel, who was always there for him, but he was too tired to make amends. Simply because he was so exhausted. Vivid nightmares kept him up every night. He couldn't keep away the image of Lucifer throwing mound after mound of dirt onto all those innocent people. All dead because of him. His head seemed to throb indefinitely and he seemed to jump at every little thing. He was reaching a breaking point.

He was scared. It was as simple as that. He was afraid of Lucifer, afraid of his plans for Sam, afraid of losing more people. He thought of the two people in the car with him and nearly cried at the thought of losing either one of them.

Everyone around him seemed to drop like flies and Sam knew it was his fault. His mother died trying to protect him, Jess died because she got in the way of Sam and his "destiny", his father wouldn't have died if he paid attention driving, Jo and Ellen wouldn't have died if he hadn't released Lucifer. Who was next? Sam shuddered at the thought.

Lost in his thoughts, Sam found himself drifting off again to Dean and Castiel discussing something about leads on the Horsemen.

* * *

Both Dean and Castiel seemed to realize it was best to leave Sam alone and let him go back to sleep. Dean knew Sam didn't sleep at night so he was glad to see Sam's head lowering to rest on his chest, soft snores escaping.

He resumed his careful driving, talking in low tones with Castiel. The reason Castiel had shown up was to discuss a new lead on the Horsemen but his attention seemed to be drawn to Sam.

Focused on his conversation with Castiel, Dean didn't notice Sam lightly whimpering every minute or so, or the was his breathing had escalated. "_Another nightmare_." Dean though sadly. They didn't usually plague Sam during the day but obviously Sam didn't seem to be getting a break today.

"What is wrong with him?" Castiel asked, concerned.

"He's got a lot on his plate right now. Stupid kid blames himself for everything with Jo and Ellen and now he has to worry about Lucifer's freakin' plans too. It's too much."

Castiel nodded, seeming to agree. He was around enough, he had to have seen Sam's depression deepening. Sam gave another soft whimper and Dean's hand tightened on the steering wheel in frustration. _"Can't he get a break?" _

Out of the corner of his eye Dean saw Castiel reach his hand out and place it gently on Sam's head. Gently stroking Sam's hair, Castiel leaned forward and whispered, "Do not fret, Sam. It will be alright."

Dean's eyes widened in surprise. Sam actually began to relax but he knew Castiel had a way of making Sam feel better. Heck, the kid lit up every time Castiel was around. His breathing evened out and the whimpering stopped.

Castiel sat back, staring straight ahead like nothing happened.

* * *

Castiel watched Sam whimper in his sleep and it caused him pain to see it. Sam didn't deserve the pain he put himself through. The affection he had for Sam was slowly growing each and every time he saw the young man fight so boldly for Redemption. It grew every time he saw Sam's eyes light up, which unbeknownst to Castiel, happened rarely and only when the angel was around.

There was so much good in Sam, if only Sam could see that.

* * *

Sam slept for about another hour and a half. By the time another nightmare plagued, Castiel was gone, he was checking something out that could be linked to Lucifer, claiming he'd return later.

Sam jerked out of sleep a soft cry on his lips. Tears stained his cheeks and Dean cursed himself on not knowing that Sam had been caught in another nightmare.

"Hey, Sammy, it's okay. We're almost at the motel."

Sam, still looking drained, nodded slightly. He rubbed at his eyes dazedly. While he still looked exhausted, Dean noticed his eyes were wide with fear. Sam's body trembled ever so slightly and he shivered, wrapping his arms around himself.

"Hey Sammy, can we talk?" Dean asked slowly, debating on how he should go about this.

Sam looked up at him and nodded. "Yeah." he said, his voice raspy.

Dean took a breath. He had to come about this gently, he didn't want to upset his already fragile brother. "You do know that what happened to Jo and Ellen isn't your fault, don't you?"

Sam swallowed, turning his head away. He didn't want Dean to see the fresh tears gathering in his eyes. It _was _his fault. He started it all…

"Sam?" Dean pressed. "Answer me."

Sam shook his head. "I don't want to talk about that."

"Well tough cookies buddy. We need to discuss this. What you're doing to yourself isn't fair. You don't have to put yourself through all this blame. It's not your fault."

"It is…" Sam sniffed as Dean pulled the Impala into the parking lot parking it in front of the office.

"Sam…" Dean started reaching his hand out and placing it on Sam's shoulder.

"No!" Sam yelled, flinching away and flinging the car door open and jumping out. "Leave me alone! I can't take this anymore! Leave me alone before you die too!"

"Sam!" Dean yelled as his brother ran behind the rundown motel into the small set of woods that stood there. "Sam! Come back!" Dean took off at a full sprint running after his distraught brother. Sam was at a breaking point and Dean had to get him back before he did something drastic.

Sam was fast, too fast for Dean to keep up and it was too dark to see. He was going to get away.

Just as Dean was about to lose sight of Sam in the mass of foliage and moonlight he could just barely see an arm shoot out and grab the back of Sam's shirt. Sam stopped dead in his tracks with a strangled yelp, falling backwards, unable to get loose from Castiel's grip holding onto his shirt. The angel held on to Sam as he fought valiantly to escape. "It's alright, Sam." Castiel whispered into Sam hair. "Just calm down. I'm here."

"Please!" Sam plead. "Just let me go before someone else dies!" He ripped away from Castiel's grip turning in a circle, clutching desperately at his hair.

"Please…I…I…" His vision was tunneling out. He couldn't breathe.

Sam stopped, his eyes going wide. A sight he had hoped to never see again stood right in front of him.

_Lucifer stood on a mound of dirt throwing shovel after shovel of dirt onto the mass grave at his feet. Turning around, Lucifer met Sam's eyes. Beside the mass grave laid three bodies. Dean, Castiel, and Bobby. Smiling at him Lucifer said, "You're next, Sam."_

"NO!" Sam yelled stumbling backwards and falling back against a tree, breaking out in a cold sweat. He couldn't breathe, his head was spinning, he couldn't feel his body.

Hands clutched at his shoulder, shaking him, someone was yelling his name. Was it Dean? Castiel? No, Dean and Castiel were dead. Dead because of him. He couldn't see anymore. His chest hurt and he couldn't breathe. His breaths came in frantic wheezes as he fought to pull non-existent air into his lungs. Everything jumbled together, he couldn't breathe. He killed them all, and he couldn't _breathe._ Hands were laying him on the cold ground, he felt his head tipped back and lips covered his own, breathing into his mouth.

"_I'm sorry." _Sam thought as everything faded away into darkness.

* * *

The first thing Sam became aware of was an annoying beeping sound. _"Stop it. I'm sleeping."_

Sounds came back first, along with the annoying beeping came the sound of hushed voices speaking from somewhere beside him. Why were people talking? He was trying to sleep.

Feeling was next to return. A hard mattress under his back, he was propped up. Weird tubes running down his arm, an annoying thing taped under his nose. He felt odd, he felt heavy and weighed down and his throat was parched.

Seemingly against his will, his eyes slowly cracked open. The strong smell of antiseptic hung over him and fluorescent light assaulted his eyes and he groaned, turning his head to the side.

"Sammy?" Dean's voice. A chair scraped against the floor and Dean leaned over him, Castiel beside him. Castiel reached out and grabbed Sam's hand.

"How are you feeling?"

Sam frowned. "What…" He reached up to rip the annoying thing off his face. Gentle but firm hands grabbed his, lowering his hand back down onto the bed. "Leave that alone, Sam." Castiel said gently.

Looking around he finally figured out where he was. Hospital. He remembered. Lucifer. Dean, Castiel, Bobby. He wasn't able to breathe.

"They said you had a panic attack, Sammy." Dean said, sitting down in a chair beside the bed. Castiel remained standing, still grasping Sam's hand as if afraid if he let go Sam would disappear.

"Panic attack? But he was there, Lucifer, and you guys were…" Dean cut him off.

"None of it was real, Sammy. You were hallucinating."

Sam frowned. Hallucination?

"That's what happens when you wear yourself thin like that. You scared the ever living out of us, Sammy. Your lips were turning blue…" Dean trailed off. "You can't keep doing this to yourself, Sam." Dean pressed lightly.

"It won't happen again." Sam mumbled, looking away.

"That's not what I me…" Castiel cut Dean off before he could speak anymore.

"Dean, I'll take care of this. If you would excuse us."

Dean's eyebrows rose but he seemed to understand. Castiel had a way with Sam. If anyone could break through to his emo little brother, it was Castiel.

"Fine." Dean huffed. "I'll be back, Sammy." He let his hand rest on the top of Sam's head for a moment before turning and exiting the small room.

Looking up through long eyelashes, Sam was met with Castiel's steel gaze. He wasn't getting out of this conversation.

"We are going to talk and you are going to respond. Do you understand me?"

Sam nodded. He knew better than to argue with Castiel when he was this determined.

Castiel placed his hand on Sam's cheek, gently stroking with his thumb.

"You…are…not…to…blame." Castiel spoke slowly and clearly. "You are not to blame for the deaths of those you care about. When it is their time to go it is their time. You must accept that."

Sam could feel tears rising. Why was everything so hard? "I…if it wasn't for me…" Castiel waved his hand, stopping Sam mid sentence.

"I will say this one more time, Sam. You are not to blame. You have saved so many lives, so many people saved because of you. If it was not for you hundreds would be dead. Do you not see this?"

"I just feel like I hold everyone back. I released Lucifer and now we can't find a way to kill him! How can somebody who does that be not to blame? My mom, dad, Jess, Jo, Ellen…everybody dies around me. I don't wanna lose Dean. I don't wanna lose you." Tears overflowed. He couldn't hold it in anymore.

Hands were on his face again. Forcing him to look up into Castiel's piercing eyes. "You are not going to lose Dean. You are not going to lose me. I promise you this."

Oddly enough, Sam believed him. Tears flowed freely now and exhaustion took was beginning to take over.

"Do you believe me?" Castiel asked, tipping Sam's head up so he continued to look straight into his eyes.

"Yeah." Sam said. "Yeah, I believe you."

Castiel smiled, pushing Sam's hair back out of his steadily drooping eyes. "Good. Now go to sleep and Dean and I will be here when you wake up."

Feeling convinced that he wasn't going to lose his loved ones anytime soon, Sam allowed sleep to pull him under.

A cup of coffee in hand, Dean opened the door to Sam's room. The sight that met him, to say the least, surprised him.

Sam's head was turned towards the wall, soft snores could be heard. Castiel sat on the bed next to him, his hand running through Sam's hair. He looked up as Dean entered, a slight smile on his face.

"How'd it go?" Dean asked suspiciously. He hadn't expected Castiel to bring Sam to his senses so quickly.

"Good." Castiel replied. "He'll be okay now."

Dean believed him. Sam's sleeping face gave that away. He hadn't slept so peacefully in awhile.

"Well, I don't know how you did it, but I'm glad you did." Dean said sitting down in the chair, sipping his coffee. Castiel looked back at Sam.

"I have my ways."

End.

* * *

Okay so I searched up what happens when someone has a panic attack so I'm going on what I found. I'm sorry if I'm wrong on things.

If you liked this story at all please reviewwwwwwww!


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